you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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