youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
