fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
