You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
