So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
