i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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