Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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