take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
