Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We need to rekindle our bromance
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
