she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
