I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
