problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
