the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
a search helicopter?!
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize