I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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