More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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