I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
