conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you had me at cake vodka
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize