I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
