Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
