I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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