We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
