I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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