Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
