I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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