I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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