Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize