So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
