i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
