Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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