We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
