It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
