Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
