Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.

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(913): View more from Kansas

the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job

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(208): View more from Idaho

can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.

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(513): View more from Ohio

you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.

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(253): View more from Washington

I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.

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