Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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