also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
