So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I could fuck to npr.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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