There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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