I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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