"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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