rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
