According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
