oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
