He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
