We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
