using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
