I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
