Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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