Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
