Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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