Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
