All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
