You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
