Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
