i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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