i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
