I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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