Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
